


map that leads to you

by MiraclesInApril



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-27 14:58:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16221470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraclesInApril/pseuds/MiraclesInApril
Summary: Jongin leaves messages for his best friend in his snow covered windshield, little confessions of his feelings thinking that Chanyeol will never find out. Until he does.





	1. prologue

The street lights illuminate footprints of those who’d taken the path before him. Despite the complete darkness, it’s seven a.m. and he can bet on his life that Chanyeol is still snoring in his bed. The thought draws a sigh from him that ends in his lips lifting at the corners. Coming up to the Park house, he takes out his phone and rings Chanyeol.

Jongin is Chanyeol’s alarm clock, a system they’ve had going since early high school. Chanyeol takes forever and a day to rise and Mama Park gave up on him. Jongin took it upon himself to make sure Chanyeol’s ringtone was the most raucous sound, set to the highest volume. He calls as he passes by the house, calls a second time as he’s waiting in line in the bakery down the street where he gets them breakfast and makes the last call as he’s walking back.

On a good day Chanyeol answers his third call from the car where Jongin can hear the old engine wheezing like diseased lungs. Most days Chanyeol picks up in a frenzied breath, Jongin hearing him scramble for his shoes and coat and necessities for class.

As the call goes through, Jongin takes a moment to stand before Chanyeol’s car. He can hear a phantom ring from here. He reaches over the snow capped vehicle, his gloved finger sinking to the glass of the windshield. He takes time to write his message as neatly as possible so it can’t be traced back to him. His chicken scratch handwriting is infamous among his friends and this neater, legible writing has been throwing Chanyeol off for the past months.

**‘Good morning cute idiot’** is today’s message. Yesterday it was **‘why haven’t you asked me out yet’.**

His first one was a confession. **‘I like you’**. He was switching the playlist he was listening to when he spotted a foreign one he’d never put together. The title _‘Chanyeol’s playlist for sleepy bears’_ explained it all. He stood in the dark street for a full minute, chuckling at his phone. The wave of affection filled him with warmth that made him want to toss all his clothes off and bask in nothing but the warm glow of happiness.

Chanyeol was impossible to wake up in the mornings, yes, but Jongin couldn’t argue that he was the sleepier of the two. He napped on Chanyeol’s shoulder in lectures, relying on his best friend to nudge him awake if the professor caught sight of him. He napped between classes, folding himself up in the chair next to Chanyeol at the library, borrowed Chanyeol’s keys sometimes to nap in his car— where Chanyeol often joined— napped on Chanyeol’s bed in the evenings even when the whole point of him coming over was to study together.

Lately all these little bursts of affections, courtesy of Chanyeol, were suffocating him. All that was ordinary between them, like holding hands or sharing food or sitting next to each other lit a beacon inside him and warmed him to his soles.

Listening to the upbeat playlist Chanyeol put together for him, Jongin couldn’t help the racket his heart was making or how much he wanted to express the feeling, let a little of it escape before it drowned him.

“I like you, Park Chanyeol.” he tested the words in the air. A bark came from somewhere distant, as if in reply. “I like you.” he whispered, grinning.

And those were the first words he left on Chanyeol’s windshield, all those months ago. Suggestions like **‘we should date’** and **‘you should go out with me’** followed. **‘I hate how much I like you’** , **‘You’re really stupid’**. **‘You’re slow’,‘It’s been 84 years’, ‘Worst detective ever’, ‘I still like you’** amongst other vague insults that could have come from any keen observer.

Jongin didn’t know if Chanyeol saw his messages at first. The windshield would be cleared of snow, with Chanyeol seated inside, not letting anything on. It was when he left **‘I like you, Chanyeol’** several times after the first message that Chanyeol told him about it. It was quick becoming his favourite message to leave. This short sentence contained such a grandiose honesty and seeing it in writing made him more giddy than simply saying it aloud to himself.

“I thought they had been left by a stranger. But they wrote my name this morning.” Chanyeol had said, perplexed. Jongin congratulated himself on his veteran acting skills that manifested on the spot.

“A secret admirer? For you? Very likely.” he snorted and Chanyeol flung a packet of tissues at him.

Today seems to be a good day. When he returns with a tray of coffees and a bag of jam doughnuts, the engine is running and Chanyeol is wide awake.

“What’s the occasion?” Jongin asks as Chanyeol reaches for the doughnuts first, practically snatching it. Jongin watches him with a smile as he sinks his teeth into it, eyes closed and letting out a deep moan. He mutters something unintelligible with his mouth full and Jongin raises a brow.

“I’m sorry, was that ‘I love Kim Jongin, he’s the bestest best friend and I don’t deserve him’?”

“No,” Chanyeol says slowly as he finishes chewing.

“It was ‘I have a dentist appointment today’ but I do love Kim Jongin.” there’s jam on his teeth as he grins and Jongin feels an equally sweet whoop in his belly.

“I know.” he rolls his eyes, taking up his coffee cup so his hands and mouth can be occupied and save him from any further reaction that would potentially prove embarrassing or over the top. “You’re thrilled about a dentist appointment?” Jongin asks as Chanyeol pulls onto the road.

“Yeah, over the moon. Mr. Wang is my favourite person.”

Jongin lets out a betrayed gasp. Chanyeol’s yelp as Jongin pinches his hand on the gearstick is satisfying.

“Okay but no, Yoora’s back and we’re going to catch up afterwards.”

“Ah,” Jongin nods, his plan of asking Chanyeol if he wanted company dashed. “So you’re going to make her hold your hand as you cry, I see. Tell her to record it.”

“Tell her yourself.” Chanyeol grumbles. Jongin can see the colour in his cheeks as they both recall all the times Jongin tagged along and witnessed his comical state of being high on nitrous oxide.

“I’ll see her tonight then?” Jongin drains his cup, placing it in the holder. Chanyeol’s cheeks are still rosy, his fingers tapping eccentrically over the wheel.

“Sure.”

Chanyeol drops him off, citing that he has to pick up some groceries for Mom before his appointment and date with Yoora. Jongin’s filled with disproportionate happiness and disappointment as Chanyeol reaches over to hug him goodbye. He adjusts Jongin’s scarf and pulls up the zipper on his jacket, making his usual remark about Jongin being dressed too lightly— even as he’s adorned in nothing heavier than a hoodie.

“I’ll text you,” Chanyeol says as Jongin leaves the car and Jongin nods, unable to shake off the disappointment of not seeing Chanyeol again until the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the summary? sucks? so i might change it, lol. this is based on /[this](https://twitter.com/miraclesnapril/status/1048807499820949504)/
> 
> also i swore to never do chaptered stories again lest i never finish them but this won't be long and i know exactly what i want to do with this story so here we go~ thanks for reading! let me know what you think so far :D


	2. dear jongin

Strangely Jongin can’t spot Baekhyun who shares this class. Neither him nor any of his other friends replied to his texts and it makes him frown for two seconds before he dismisses it and heads to his regular seat. His frown reappears at the emptiness of the seat next to his. Chanyeol’s absence. Would it be strange to text him despite having seen him five minutes prior? 

He knows Chanyeol wouldn’t bat a lash. He would have Jongin on speaker as he goes about his business until class starts. But since recognizing his more than friendly feelings for his best friend, Jongin finds himself more conscious of the things he says and does in regards to Chanyeol. Will Chanyeol realize Jongin already misses him? Would he find it weird? Would it give away something about Jongin’s feelings? He sighs as Chanyeol’s last message flashes on the screen as he slides out of their message box.  _ ‘I promise tomorrow will be different’ _ he sent in reply to Jongin teasing him that he would oversleep for the third time this week.

you: 

_ where are u? _

you: 

_ overslept? _

you: 

_ skiving this close to exams??? _

He reads over the texts he sent last to Jongdae, Baekhyun and Sehun. None of them opened his message, let alone replied. 

Guess he’s on his own this morning. He untangles his earphones with the intent of snoozing to Chanyeol’s playlist for him. He is ready to close his eyes when someone taps his shoulder. 

A girl he recognizes from around campus stands before him, looking awkward with her tight lips and smiling eyes. She drops something in Jongin’s lap. 

“Hi. You were told to read it as soon as you got it.” 

“What— who—” before he can complete his question, she’s scurrying away, skipping down the aisle and heading out of the hall. 

He looks at the objects delivered. 

One is a pale blue Instax Mini. The other is a cream envelope with his name scribbled on. The handwriting is unfamiliar to him. Bemused, he stares at it as if expecting the letters to lift off the page and explain themselves. He scans the room, searching for the potential sender but no one is paying attention to him. Some students snooze just like he’d been planning to do. Others are engaged in lively chatter with friends, the ones at the front bent over textbooks and the rest streaming in through the door. There isn’t a single person eyeing him like they’re monitoring him or expecting a reaction from him.

He unseals the letter, using his long nail as a penknife, saying a quick Hail Mary for his safety. 

There are two sheets inside, one cream like the envelope and one white printer paper. Jongin takes them out, noticing how much thicker the cream one is. He unfolds the thin one, his curiosity and perplexion equal parts heavy. 

 

**Dear Jongin,**

**I know you must be feeling very confused. You might not know me and you must have very many questions. If you will, please lend me some of your time today. If you have something particularly important happening or simply do not trust this letter and do not want to follow these instructions, I understand and respect that. You may stop reading now and discard this letter.**

**If you will humour me and your curiosity, I’d like to introduce myself as your admirer. My identity shall remain secret for now. Partly to add some excitement to this hunt but mostly because the thought of you abandoning this once you find out who I am disheartens me greatly.**

**I like you a lot, Jongin. I promise this isn’t a ploy to lure you to the middle of nowhere to slaughter you. In fact, most of today’s activities will occur in fairly public spaces. I hope this puts you more at ease.**

**I thought of asking you out the conventional way but a) that would be boring, wouldn’t it? You deserve more than boring. And b) I’m still mustering the guts to ask you to your face and hopefully by the end of today, the odds (as well as valour) will be in my favour!**

**Accompanying this letter is a small map. I have marked locations you are to visit. At each location there is an envelope for you. Some will be given to you and others you may have to search for.**

**The last location leads to me. I have faith that you will find them all. Your tenacity is one of the things I admire most about you.**

**Your first location is Volumes & Verses. That’s where the next envelope is. How you find it is up to your sleuthing. **

**Good luck, Jongin. I’m really excited to see you.**

**With love, S.A. (secret admirer).**

Jongin reads the letter twice, just to make sure he’s not hallucinating it. He finds himself smiling at the mild self deprecation and tingling at the confessions. He has no idea who this could be from but there’s always something pleasing about being admired. 

Curiosity dominates caution. He wonders if he will ever find out who it is if he discards it. This could potentially be dangerous. No, it  _ is  _ dangerous. But one could argue that existing is a continuous state of endangerment. What if it’s someone who genuinely likes him? What if he could learn to like them back? Ideally the worst case scenario of Chanyeol picking up on his hints would be that he tells Jongin he doesn’t reciprocate but their friendship remains intact. 

Life rarely caters to one’s wishes though so what if he never had to burden his best friend with these out of bounds feelings of his and ruin everything? 

And doesn’t anyone who would put this much effort into him deserve a bit of his consideration? 

There are almost ten numbered red dots on the map, several of them close together and a few lying on the outskirts. He recognizes most of the location names. 

He could say it’s boredom or intrigue that leads him out of the door but if he were stripped mentally, a precocious soft spot for S.A. stands solitary like a poppy in a field of dandelions. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was sad when i realized i couldn't use any fancy fonts on ao3 :c or at least idk how to make custom skins:c all the letters are supposed to be in typewriter font
> 
> anyway the chapters will be short, all leading up to when ji meets S.A. [hopefully] the next update will be this friday :D


	3. volumes & verses

It’s snowing by the time Jongin catches a bus. The pale flakes cloud the air, settling on the ground like the gentle nudges of intrigue in Jongin’s stomach. He wonders about the camera, now safely tucked into his bag along with the envelope. The letter never stated what it was for.

Volumes & Verses is a labyrinth of Persian rugs and imposing shelves that run to the ceiling and across, brimming with books. Short benches and time acquainted bean bags invite one to make themselves home in foreign universes and divergent lives. The books are all second hand and fuse the store with their unique scent that beckons like an old friend from a lost dream.

It’s one of his and Chanyeol’s favourite hangouts. The amount of days they spent hiding away here when they skipped class brings a smile to his face. Equipped with snacks and sweet drinks— which the Elliots didn’t allow but made an exception for them— they cosied up on the bean bags and read away, Jongin’s head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and Chanyeol’s legs tucked under his knees. Sometimes they helped Mrs. Elliot with orders to burn time or amused Mr. Elliot at the till with musings of what the books on the shelves were about, before they picked them up to read the blurbs and howl at how off they’d been.

But Volumes & Verses is a maze and standing inside it is an awakening to how challenging it will be to find the next letter. S.A. is really making things difficult for him, keeping their identity secret. Is he to look for a book that would suit his own taste or S.A.’s? The latter would be near impossible, considering Jongin doesn’t know if S.A. is someone he has even conversed with before. Or has the envelope been placed at completely random?

It crosses his mind that this could all turn out to be a prank. Now that he thinks about it, his friends simultaneously pulling a Houdini is dubious. Could this be an elaborate joke? He reckons they all have the means and wits to pull this off but none of them have the heart. It would border callous on their part. No, it’s probably not his friends but who’s to say it isn’t a prank by someone else? Perhaps he can see this letter through and decide what to do from there.

He starts perusing the shelves, racking his brain for clues he might have missed in the letter or anything that stands out. Despite his reservations, the thrill of this mystery is electric. The challenge that looms is nefariously dopamine inducing. He tenderly traces a finger over the titles on the spines, wishing one of them would fall from their place and point in the direction of the booty of his quest.

Mrs. Elliot smiles heartily at him as he passes by her stacking books on already tottering shelves. He has checked the four main shelves that dichotomize into the smaller ones. Could S.A. have hidden the envelope somewhere unfairly obscure like atop a shelf or under a rug? Jongin bends down to check the one he’s standing on, even as he tells himself that S.A. probably wants him to find it, not spend the whole day on this single location.

With a sigh, he flops down onto a bean bag and stares at the wallpapered ceiling. The cherubs gliding across the lapis sky seem to mock him, serene and angelic in the face of his frustration.

Who is S.A.? Where is the second envelope?

_One more time_ he decides, getting up. He starts with the section he ended with, the fact that he breezed by it the last time disturbing him. And _there_. He should have taken more care the first time.

A cream edge pokes out between a tall book with a glossy cover and a short thick volume that hugs its cover by cover the thinnest threads. Jongin lets out a quiet triumphant exclamation as he sees his name on the envelope.

 

‘Books are everywhere; and always the same sense of adventure fills us. Second-hand books are wild books, homeless books; they have come together in vast flocks of variegated feather, and have a charm which the domesticated volumes of the library lack. Besides, in this random miscellaneous company we may rub against some complete stranger who will, with luck, turn into the best friend we have in the world.’ 

— Virginia Woolf. 

 

Dear Jongin, 

Congratulations on finding this letter! Volumes & Verses is magical, isn’t it? The walls of this place speak of fantastical realms to me, of palaces and monarchy, endless possibility and magic. Seeing you read around campus gives me the inkling that you, too, have discovered this secret portal. 

The book I intended for you is (hopefully) where you found this letter. Bear Tales by Evelyn Jones. I’m not sure if you remember this presentation you gave in General Studies English in our first year but you based it on wildlife, mostly about bears. I think the topic was giving a talk on some unconventional thing we like. You educated us all on the compassionate nature of bears and how humans can find in themselves the same traits. I think I may have handed you a lot of my affections that day, though you were not aware. I felt incredible fondness for you. 

If I have not scared you away yet, please accept this gift and any other book of your choosing. Just tell Mr. Elliot, the elderly owner, that you got the envelope and he’ll understand! 

Your next location is Little Love, down the street. Before you leave each place, please take a picture. I’ll explain the importance of this once we meet. Thank you for humouring me so far. Good luck, Jongin! 

With love, S.A. 

 

Jongin is smiling when he looks away from the letter. Mr Elliot watches him from the counter, smile teasing at his lips like he knows what Jongin just read. Jongin can’t bring himself to school his features.

The day S.A. talks about is vague in his own memory. He remembers rushing his presentation the night before, busy with other assignments and readings and forgetting he even had it the next morning. He had given up on life, face first on the floor of Chanyeol’s bedroom as he half heartedly brainstormed what he could present on.

“Bears.” said Chanyeol simply. “I can’t get you to shut up about them and I don’t really see many people obsessing over them so I’d say it’s quite unconventional. Plus you already know a ton about them.”

Jongin stayed splayed for a moment. Then he lifted his face to say to the ceiling, “Hyung, I could kiss you right now.”

“Come then.” Chanyeol chuckled but Jongin’s brain was whizzing with thoughts and how to structure his talk. The presentation itself in his memory is a murky area of nerves beneath some semblance of confidence. It never crossed his mind that there could be someone taking keen interest.

His heart, that up to now only performed theatrics because of Chanyeol, butterflies in his rib cage.  He holds the book and envelope close as he walks sheepishly up to the counter.

“So it was for you.” Mr. Elliot’s expression shimmies.

“You know who left it?” it hits Jongin then that S.A. had to coordinate this with the Elliots for this to have worked. Surely they couldn’t be all that bad if it’s drawing this sort of reaction from Mr. Elliot? Jongin presumes the Elliots think as fondly of him as he does them so S.A. must be someone they hold in high regard too.

“I sure do.”

He says nothing more at Jongin’s expectant silence and Jongin groans but nods in defeat. There’s no way to find out but to see it to the final location.

“Fine. Say cheese.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! are you guys enjoying the story so far? also, who could S.A. be? ooOOooOo...lol are we all on the same page? let me know your thoughts!


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